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April Fools “Panel Going All Beeper, All the time!”

MFour Abandons All-Mobile Panel in Favor of “Beeper Technology.”

Stating emphatically, “Mobile is dead…the return of the beeper is near,” MFour CEO Chris St. Hilaire announced today the company will immediately close its 600,000 active person, mobile panel in favor of beeper-respondants wearing “super cool” belt clips.

While recent statistics indicate that more than 75% of Americans carry smartphones and that more people access the internet through smartphones than online desktop computers, even more Americans own belts, and there’s hardly anything to attach to them, according to St. Hilaire.

“I own one smartphone and four belts. I have a blue one, two blacks ones and a reversible one that I grew out of after the kids were born and I stopped having time to work out…but that’s not important right now,” said St. Hilaire.

The new four-step methodology is brilliant in its design: First, respondent attaches a beeper to their belt and waits for a “beep beep.” Second, they hear a “beep beep” and immediately head to the nearest phone booth. Third, they insert a quarter and dial the number back. Fourth, they take the survey.

MFour expects the technology to take hold even quicker than online panels are dying. For questions about our super cool beepers, open your rolodex, look up our number, head to a phone booth and give us a call. Either that or fax us. Happy April 1st everyone.